These days the perfect man is hard to find but sometimes if you pray hard enough he just might come to you!
DH. Damn Hot. Devilishly Handsome. Drool Heaven. Delectably Hunky.
Right here in Perth.
The world’s second most isolated city opened its doors to the Outback It Chef entourage and its delectable host for the second time a few weeks ago. Boy, what a crazy week that was. It was enough to turn sweet Asian females into stalkers; closet male fans into giggly schoolgirls and me into a panic mode because frankly speaking I wasn’t going to lose my ‘uber stalker title’ to some newbie (yes, yes I have issues with letting go) however, all those months jet-setting around Asia filming his latest drama Fugitive: Plan B¹ has somehow made him into an expert runaway. Darn!
There’s a fine line between being a super cool stalker and a creepy one…and I oh so badly wanted to be inappropriately “cool”. *sigh*. Having a conscience sucks sometimes.
Alas, now I’m left reliving my fleeting February fantasy. Has it been 8 months already?
Welcome to STALKING 101: Seducing Mr. Perfect
- Always be nice to people (especially Korean housemates). You’ll never know one day they might end up being a mole for you.
- Dress to impress. Nice and bright as long as it’s not fluro. You want to stand out, not blind him.
- Work the floor. Talk to everyone…well everyone that speaks your language that is and if they don’t, say something funny in theirs. You may look like an idiot, but you’ll be that idiot who’s remembered. Just as long as it’s not somewhere along the lines of “Can I scratch your bum..?” then you’re good.
- Pee first, even if you don’t want to- FORCE IT cause you’ll never know how long a stakeout’s going to last. Mind you, when you’re this excited it feels like FOREVER.
- It’s better to give (and then you’ll receive). “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” And when he thanks and tells you that he hasn’t been fed yet do a little happy dance in your head. “Oh happy day…oh happy day~~”
- Camwhore. Practise makes perfect! You probably get one shot with him so make it your best. He knows how to work the camera. Do you?
- Shy or shameless? Ever heard of a shy stalker? Yeah, I don’t think so but (see #8)
- Stalk sensibly. I know, I know what an oxymoron. You want to get closer, not a restraining order.
- Interview intelligently. Don’t ask things you already know because he already has been asked that millions of times *yawns*
- Lastly, never share intel until AFTER the money shot. There’s no “sharing” in stalking.
Twice in a year is a lot for a busy man like Daniel Henney.
It must be my truffles.
¹ Fugitive: Plan B (도망자) premieres on 29 September 2010 on KBS 2.